Disadvantages Of Finding Biological Parents
Finding biological parents is not obvious or easy. It is not necessarily that these parents do not want to be found, even if often it is the case. Some fathers are afraid that if they get found by their natural offspring, they will be confronted with financial consequences. They have founded new families, have gone on with their lives and have built other sets of responsibilities.
Some mothers report they do not want to be found to avoid opening old emotional wounds that took years to heal. Sometimes, a child is left to foster care because it was born as a consequence of a rape in a state where abortion is illegal, compounded by strict and unforgiving religious taboos.
Many crack using mothers mention deep shame and fear of an encounter with a child carried while using, notwithstanding the fact they have gone through rehab years ago and this episode in their life has been closed for a long time.
By now, you can imagine that it is not always as simple as it looks and that children who want to find their biological progenitors often are confronted to important unknowns. It is not that the child was necessarily unwanted, but that all kinds of pressure coming from different sources created a situation where a parent felt it was the best course to take, also for the well being of the baby or young child.
So when you decide you absolutely have to know and you set out to start searching, remember that and arm yourself with patience.
You will also need to prepare yourself to learn things you later might wish you had never known. What if you discover really ugly things?
How about the man who absolutely wanted to know and discovered his father had murdered his mother when he was three months old and had been killed in a prison riot while serving his sentence two years later ?
How do you console the woman who discovered that her parents were brother and sister and that her mother committed suicide after her child had been taken away from her?
What to say to the man who found out that his real father had been a war criminal and had been executed after the war?
However hard we need to know, however deep the need, there are instances where the past is best left alone for your own sake. It is not for nothing that many hurdles and obstacles are set up.
However, if you are determined to go ahead, you will find many useful sources that you can consult directly on the Internet. You could start by trying out our search box top right. For a token fee, you will immediately know a lot more. Good luck with your investigations.
